Miss Manners: My family can’t stop talking about how handsome my newborn son is. But they talk badly about his three-year-old sister.

Dear Ms. Manners: When I visited my family with my newborn son, they couldn’t stop talking about how good he looked – and how much cuter he was compared to his sister (my first child, who is 3).

That afternoon alone I must have heard the words “He looks much better than his sister” at least 15 times from my mother and sisters. I was hurt and shocked that they would say such negative things about a child, but I was just grateful that my daughter wasn’t with me. However, I doubt her presence would have stopped them.

Miss Manners, how should I respond to your negative comments? How can I prevent something like this from happening again, especially when my daughter is with me?

GOOD READER: Give your newborn a warm hug, look deep into his eyes, and say with an appropriately goofy expression, “You don’t mean it!” Your sister was a beautiful baby too! Yes, that was her! Yes, that was her!”

After 15 repetitions on both sides, everyone is exhausted and ready for an adult conversation.

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Dear Ms. Manners: I’m new to online dating and would like your advice on how to respond to likes when you’re not interested. I think a response to a message is appropriate, but I don’t want to give people the wrong idea. I also don’t really want to get involved in long conversations with people who don’t seem to be a good fit.

Does it make a difference if they just send a like without a message? Or if they are outside my stated age group? I’m surprised and grateful that others are interested, and I want to treat everyone with respect. Any suggestions?

Gentle reader: This is an area where etiquette – such as it is – is still evolving. But Miss Manners will try to help.

One of the most confusing aspects of such companies is that they cross the line between commercial and social – not just without thinking about it, but without even realizing there is a difference.

But in this case, this confusion is useful. The purpose of such sites, as they would put it, is to get to know someone. So responding to the first outreach when you’re not interested – be it a written message or a mere “like” – will actually give people the wrong idea.

Ms. Manners therefore advises against answering, citing the application of business etiquette, which states that you are not obligated to answer calls from strangers who want to sell you something.

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